I was just a little kid and disliked having to take naps. Today I was begging for one but my father wasn’t about to be fooled. We were going to our Sunday School/Church in the afternoon to hear Brother Dudley preach. My father was quite active in church affairs so there was an obligation for our family to be there. First of all, I didn’t know why he should be called brother. I already had Carl for my brother and I was a lot closer to him then I ever wanted to be to Dud. All of us kids called him Dud but we would never say it loud enough for our elders to hear us or we might have found out what the snap of a razor strap sounded like below our back.
Only a few families were in his audience. His services and how he went about conducting them were quite well know (which probably limited the number of people who had any desire to listen to him preach). With a funny twang in his voice, he began preaching and reminding all of us the importance of tithing a full ten percent when the collection plate was passed around. I quickly did the math and was almost glad I had given all my money, one penny, earlier at Sunday School. I was going to give him one hundred percent of what I had left. Looking at the congregation, I think he did the math as well and probably was thinking;, if he was lucky, he might have enough to buy gas to get him back from wherever he had come.
After those opening remarks we all stood and sang “Blessed be the Tithe that Buys,” or that is what I thought the title was. I think Dud just wanted us all to be awake for the serious stuff he was about to tell us. His sermon seemed all too deep for me and had me thinking a nap might not be a bad idea. With the windows wide open, the warm; humid air had beads of sweat dripping off of most everyone’s brow, tickling and trickling down our noses as well as soiling our armpits. Dud had to stop quite often to get his big handkerchief out of his pocket, not only wipe his forehead, but to let out a fog horn blowing of his nose. H then touched up the white corners of his mouth before he resumed. It also gave him a chance to look around and see if anyone was yawning.
I don’t know how many were dozing but I know I was. When he saw that happening,; he would raise his voice a few decibels and he’d tear into us to start yelling about the sins of playing cards, cussing, drinking, dancing and coveting our neighbors. I just couldn’t figure out why he was doing that;, we were all good guys. Cards were not allowed in our house, we didn’t dance, I don’t think we even had rubbing alcohol in the house. We just got a good rubbing when we had a sore back.
As far as coveting our neighbors, I wasn’t too sure about what he meant. However; I did thnk one of my friends mother;, with her natural curly hair was pretty. You never heard any cussing in our house, not even slang. None of the people there did those thing. Dud probably wanted us to go out and tell the people who didn’t come to hear his sermon that they, more than likely weren’t going to need a coat where they were headed.
After a long benediction and all six verses of “Just as I Am,” as we left, Dud said “ya’ll come back, ya hear” and gave each of us kids something else to chew on, a piece of bubble gum;, and we all said;, “Thank you Brother Dudley.”